I asked myself...

 I asked myself...

- What is more important for me, memories or dreams? I answered memories push us back and dreams takes us forward and with that conscious choice I could bring a tremendous change in my life.
- Am I living my life for an audience? In  what ways should I be more true to myself, despite what other people expect from me?
- What recurring patterns cause me pain or discomfort? How could I change my behavior or lifestyle to avoid repeating them?
- What are the unfinished things in my life that I should walk away from now? I felt sometimes it is better to make room for new dreams if old ones have been pending for too long.
- What do I expect now from people who have hurt, disappointed and have let me down?
- Am I ready to heal the damaged relationships or is it time to move on?
- How would I act and look at the age of 60? Would I be called "a nasty old cow" or "an elegant poised and gracious person"?
- When I set my goals today, do I clearly see them coming to fruition in the future? Or am I blocking it subconsciously, due to my suppressed fears?
- Am I as healthy as I want to be? What must I do to be physically and mentally as healthy as I want to be?
- How do I want to love and be loved? What is my true definition of a satisfying relationship marriage or love affair? What is stopping me from hiding that?

Those are the things I asked myself when I want inner happiness and joy.  At first I thought I dunno myself, but eventually as time passes by you get to know yourself even more. Confidence? you hafta earn it, Friends gotta give it to them, Popularity? Is like what you've done lately. As things progress I learn to be tough and manage to stand up on my own (against all odds) 

One thing I realized when I get older, that life is not just a mere wheel that someone could realize he is on top for quite sometime but eventually roll down then vice versa. Life is but the entire vehicle and you are the driver. You maneuvered to your desired direction. You plan what type of journey you want to have. But along the way you meet a lot of things, a lot of people, encounter different experiences and they affect the kind of journey you want to have and influenced the direction you want to head on. You cannot help it, you cannot resist them, they are part of your journey.You are the driver and being influenced and honed by different obstacles you went through are still part of it. And as long as you decide for the path you want to take and you stand for it no matter what, you will never be wrong.

My father taught me to live a balance life. Live, Love, Play etc. etc. He always said too much of a good thing eventually becomes bad. He always encouraged me to be better through learning, education trying. And to always revere the language and the truth. No man could ever be happy if he lives his life without principles. No one else is responsible for your actions but you.

How to Die.

The final lesson in my crash course on dying is 10 suggestions on how to die. You can file these away until you need them.

1. Get things in order. Things you don’t want people to see? Destroy them. Things you want people to have? Give them away. (“Let the season of giving be yours and not that of your inheritors” — Gibran, The Prophet.) Pay debts. Make notes of what you’ve done. Make it easy for whomever you choose to take care of things after.

2. Make a will. Of things that weren’t given away, decide who gets what. Put it in writing. Make it legal. Choose an executor. Do you want to be cremated or buried? Decide what kind of funeral — if any — you want. Bette Davis said, “I don’t want donations made to any charities in my name. I want lots and lots of flowers!” If that’s how you feel about it, say so. In writing. And don’t forget to make it a “living will” if you don’t want extraordinary medical measures used to prolong your life.

3. Say goodbye. Goodbyes don’t all have to take place on your deathbed. You can say goodbye to people, and then see them every day for the next 50 years. Tell people what you would want them to know if you never saw them again. Give them the opportunity to do the same. Usually, it boils down to simply, “I love you.”

4. Don’t spend time with people you don’t want to spend time with. When people hear someone is dying, they all want to make a pilgrimage. Many of these people you haven’t seen in years and, if you lived another hundred years, would probably never see again. Say goodbye on the phone. Tell them you’re just not up to a visit. You don’t owe anyone anything.

5. Spend time alone. Reflect on your life. Make peace with it. Come to terms with it. Forgive yourself for everything. Learn what you can from what has happened, and let the rest go. Mourn the loss of your life. Come to a place of understanding and acceptance. You may be surprised how quickly you get there.

6. Enjoy yourself. Make a wish of all the movies you want to see or see again. Rent them. Watch them. Read the books you never got around to. Listen to your favorite music.

7. Relax. Sleep. Do nothing. Lie around. Recline. Goof off.

8. Pray. Listen. It is said people are closest to God at birth and at death. If you missed God the first time around, catch the deity on the return. Whatever inspirational or spiritual beliefs you hold dear, hold them even closer. You are being held close, too.

9. Enjoy each moment. Appreciate what is here and now. That is where eternity is found. You may only have a few here-and-now moments, but it’s a few more than most people will ever have.

10. When it’s time to go, go. Let go. Say one last goodbye and mean it. Say goodbye so completely that you’ll never want to come back, you’ll never even look back. All the good you take with you. The rest is goodbye and moving on.

Do most of these sound more like suggestions for living than for dying? That’s because they are. The best way to die is to live each moment fully. Then, when the time for death comes — be it next week or 50 years from now — it’s just another event in an already eventful life.

Isang Pagbabalik Tanaw (Part II )

Isang Pagbabalik Tanaw (Part II)

Ang mga “Karakter “ ng aking Kabataan.

Nasa gitna ng dalawang magka sangang kalsada nakatirik ang aming bahay. Disenyo ng circa sisenta ang aming bahay. May malalaking mga bintana, maluwang na tanggapan ng mga bisita, malaking kusina at isang malaking kuarto sa itaas ng bahay. Ang mga kahoy ng pinto, bintana, at hagdan ay gawa sa kahoy ng narra. Malaki ang bahay na yon para sa aming tatlo ng aking mga magulang. May sari-sari store ang aking ina sa ibaba ng aming bahay. Duon lagi akong nakakanlong sa aking ina habang sinasalat nya ang aking anit sa paghahanap ng mga lisa dulot ng sobrang pagbababad sa ilalim ng araw kasama ang aking mga kalaro. Kaya naman halos lahat ng mga taong pumaroon sa aming tindahan ay kilala ko na at sila ang nagging mga “karakter” sa aking kabataan. Sa aming lugar mapa- kamag anak o hindi ang itinurong panggalang sa akin ng aking mga magulang sa mga kaibigan o kamag anak nila ay tawagin kong Chang o Chong.

Cha Pacita- Pinsang buo sya ng aking ama at matalik na kaibigan naman ng aking ina. Tuwing hapon pag uwi ko galing eskwela ay sya ang nadadatnan kong kausap ng aking ina. Mapungay ang kanyang mga mata at maalon ang kanyang buhok. Nagbebenta sya ng damit at alahas sa aking ina at pareho nilang inililihim yun sa aking ama dahil may kahigpitan ang aking ama pagdating sa pera. Kaya nakakabili ng gusto nyang damit o alahas ang aking ina na di nababatid ng aking ama. Hindi nakakapanood man lang ng sine ang aking ina kung hindi ang aking ama o ang Cha Pacita ang kanyang kasama. Kaya naman lubhang nalungkot ang aking ina ng pumunta ng amerika ang Cha Pacita pero kahit ganon patuloy pa din ang kanilang komunikayson ng mga panahon na yun sa pamamgitan ng sulat. Pero di nagtagal pumanaw ang Cha Pacita sa amerika , mga ilang araw din ang lumipas bago sya naiuwi sa aming bayan. Isa syang tunay, tapat at may malasakit na kaibigan sa aking ina. Na magpa- hanggang ngayon nakikita ko ang mga gawi at aral na natutunan ng aking ina sa kanya.

Cha Memeng- Kapitbahay namin at kaibigan ng aking ama. Tuwing umaga nakikita ko syang patawid sa aming bahay upang kumubra ng jueteng. Araw-araw ang pagkubra nya ng jueteng sa aming lugar. Pusturyosa ang Cha Memeng, laging naka brush up ang kanyang buhok, nakaguhit ang kanyang kilay, mapula ang mga pisngi at bibig dala ng mga kulorete. Matandang dalaga ang Cha Memeng at Masaya sya sa piling ng kanyang mga pamangkin. Lagi nyang ka kwentuhan ang aking ama sa umaga na nakatalungko sa tarangkahan ng aming bahay. Sabi nya ang jueteng lang daw ang nagpapalakas sa kanya dahil may kakaiba daw yatang gayuma ang pangungubra ng jueteng sa aming lugar. Natatandaan ko pa na bago pa nya kubrahin ang bayad sa pagtaya ng jueteng ng aking ama sa kanya eh nakasulat na agad sa kanyang papel ang numerong tatayaan ng aking ama.

Aling Arang- Sabi nga sa kasabihan, matandang tinale na sa aming lugar. Labandera sya ng aking ama mula pagkabinata at hanggang makapag asawa ang aking ama. Sa aming lugar kilala sya bilang batikang “tsismosa” . Sya ang otoridad pag dating sa bulung-bulungan sa mga buhay buhay ng mga tao sa aming lugar. Bago sya sumabak sa paglalaba, mauupo muna sya sa bangko sa tapat ng aming tarangkahan bitbit ang kanyang supot, bandana sabay pusod ng kanyang buhok at animo nag nganga ang kanyang bibig sa pagsasalita ng mga kuentong kanyang nasagap sa daan papunta sa aming bahay. Habang nagbibida ay isinusuot nya ang kanyang paldang panlaba sa labas ng kanyang suot na saya. Minsan pagkatapos nya maglaba nakita ng aking ama ang dala nyang supot na puno ng asukal at bigas na inumit nya sa aming kusina makatapos maglaba. Kaya mula nuon pinagbawalan sya ng aking ama na magdala ng supot sa tuwing may sesyon sya ng labahin sa aming bahay.

Aling Upeng- Katapat bahay namin na plantsadora ng aking ama. Sya lang ang taong pinagkatiwalaan yata ng aking ama na mamalantsa ng kanyang polo nung sya ay nagtatrabaho sa “Aguinaldo” (Ang Aguinaldo ay isang department store sa Avenida nuong araw at ngayon ay Plaza Fair na) bilang supervisor. Metikuloso ang aking ama pagdating sa pamamalantsa ng polong isusuot nya at si Aling Upeng lang yata ang tumagal na magsilbing plantsadora nya. Mahusay mamalantsa si Aling Upeng, walang gusot at unat na unat ang mga damit, ang mga kumot at punda ay naka almirol, ang mga damit ay maayos na nakatiklop. Kung may dalubhasa man sa larangan ng pamamlantsa ay baka isa sya duon.

Mang Kanor- Barbero sya sa aming lugar. Malaking lalaki, laging naka pomada ang kanyang buhok, at naglalangis ang mukha. Isa din syang magsasaka sa bukid sa likod ng aming bahay. Maliit na bata pa lang ako si Mang Kanor na ang nakamulatan kong tiga gupit naming mag ama. Halos isang oras yata akong nakayuko sa tuwing ginugupitan nya sa sobrang sinsin ng kanyang pag gupit. Nuong araw ang tawag sa kanyang gupit ay “high cut” 3 by 4 ika nga. Three inches ang taas ng gupit sa magkabilang gilid, at four inches sa likod. Minsan sa pag gugupit nya sa akin ay nagupit nya ang itaas ng tenga ko marahil sanhi na din ng kanyang katandaan, at sinabi na lang nya na wag ko na masabi sa aking ama at tiyak na mapapagalitan sya. Sya din ang otoridad sa mga batang tutuliin sa aming lugar. (mapalad na lang ako at di ako sa kanya ipinatuli ng tatay ko, kundi sa duktor). Duon sa bukid sa may likod ng aming bahay ay may malaking puno ng akasya at duon nagaganap ang pagtutuli. Duon mo maririnig ang hiyawan ng iyak ng mga batang tinutuli ni Mang Kanor, nguya nguya ang dahon ng bayabas sabay buga sa sugat nila dala ng pagtuli.

Mang Kabog- Kung may nasirang telebisyon, radyo, atbpng gamit sa bahay, si Mang Kabog ang bahala dyan. Mataas na lalaki si Mang Kabog, payat na animo ay may sakit sa baga, humpak ang mukha at laging may busal na sigarilyo sa bibig. Nuong araw ang mga parte ng TV ay mga “tube” pa kung tawagin. Yung mga TV na may bahay na animo baul. Madalas ipagawa ng aking ama ang aming TV kay Mang Kabog dahil malimit itong tamaan ng kidlat. Laging sagot ni Mang Kabog sa aking ama kapag ginagawa nya ang aming TV ay “easy lang ito”, sabay buga ng usok ng sigarilyo. Maya maya lang nag tatao na ang TV na akala mo maayos na. Agad naman na inuuwi ng aking ama ang TV sa pag aakala nya na maayos na at mapapanooran na. Subalit pag ito’y kanyang binuksan kalahati lang ang makikita mo sa screen, sa sobrang buwisit ng aking ama kanyang napupukpok ang ibabaw ng aming TV at presto biglang nagtatao ang TV. Marami nang pagkakataon na ganuon ang nangyayari sa mga nagawang TV ni Mang Kabog, kung kaya pala sya ay binansagang Mang Kabog, kasi kailangan mo munang kabugin ang TV’ng pinagawa mo sa kanya. Hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin alam ang tunay na pangalan ni Mang Kabog.

Cha Mere- Kung lugaw, tokwa’t baboy, walang tatalo sa luto ng Cha Mere! May tindahan sya ng lugawan sa tapat ng aming bahay. Mabili ang kanyang lugawan, sa kanya ang daungan ng mga taong tamad magluto ng almusal sa aming lugar. Marahil dala na din ng palagi syang nakatawa, at maasikaso sa mga kostumer nya. Mistulan syang lola ng mga batang katulad ko nung panahon na yun. Hinihimas pa nya ang aming mga batok habang kami’y kumakain ng masarap nyang lugaw. Sa aming lugar hindi ka masasabing tagaroon kung hindi mo kilala ang Cha Mere at minsang nakalasap ng ubod ng sarap nyang lugaw.

Ilan lang sila sa mga nagbigay kulay sa aking kabataan. Saan man sila naroroon ngayon, alam kong minsan isang panahon napasaya nila ang aking kabataan at naging instrumento sila na makita ko ang isang simple ngunit nag uumapaw na kasayahan at kahulugan ng buhay. Bigyan man ako ng isa pang pagkakataon na baguhin ang aking palad, nanaisin kong di sila mawaglit sa aking paglalakbay. Walang kasing sarap ang buhay nuon kapiling ang mga “karakter” ng aking kabataan. Isa sila sa mga dahilan kung bakit masarap sariwain ang saya ng kahapong lumipas.

Isang Pagbabalik Tanaw

Sa mga pagkakataong nalulunod ako sa pagka dismaya sa kasalukuyan at sa hinaharap nasisiyahan akong bumalik sa kahapong ubod ng sarap. Sa buhay ko maituturing kong “golden years” and panahong yaon. Lumaki ako sa isang bayan na tahimik at tradisyonal; maging sa loob ng aming pamilya. Lumaki akong maraming batang kalaro kaya hindi ako lumaking malungkot kahit nag iisa akong anak ng aking mga magulang. Kung maaari nga lang balikan ang mga panahong iyon ay maya’t maya kong susulyapan ang mga lugar at mga taong nakasalamuha ng aking kabataan, kung saan doon ko matatagpuan ang kapanatagan at kasiyahan. Di ko man mababalikan sa pisikal na anyo ang panahong iyon, maaari ko naman syang balikan anumang oras at panahon na gustuhin at saloobin ko katulad ngayon. Sa paglipas ng madaming taon hindi nawawagalit sa isipan ko ang mga “karakter” sa aking kabataan, mga lugar, at masasayang pagkakataon sa bayan kung saan ako nagkaisip, hinubog at pinatatag ng panahon.

Sa aking Ama

Mula unang araw ko sa eskwela bitbit na ng aking ama ang aking bag, ang aking baong pagkain, at yung lalagyan ko ng gatas. Hila hila ng aking ama ang aking stroller (Stroller ang tawag dati dun sa lalagyan ng bag), nakasakbit sa kanyang balikat ang lalagyan ko ng gatas, at bitbit nya ang aking baunan ng pagkain (Stain less na bilog na patong-patong na may clamp sa magkabilang dulo). Binabantayan nya ako sa eskwelan hanggang matapos ang aming aralin. Kasabay ko syang natututo sa mga kanta at tula na (kaya naman pag uwi namin galing sa eskwela kinakantyawan ng mga kaibigan nya ang aking ama kung ano daw ba ang natutunan nya nung araw na yon) itinuturo sa amin ni Mrs. Resurrecion. Laging naka pusod ang buhok ni Mrs. Resurrecion na parang si Imelda Marcos, bilog ang mukha, matangos ang ilong at may dimples sa magkabilang pisngi. Mabait syang guro, lagi nya kaming niyayakap at palaging nakangiti. May mga pagkakataong isinasama nya kami sa kanyang bahay para maglaro. Ngunit bago pa man kami sumapit ng Grade One hindi na namin sya nakita dahil pumanaw sya sanhi ng panganganak.
May isang pagkakataon noong ako ay nasa Grade Three na inilaban ako sa isang pagsusulit at kinakailangan ko ng lakas ng loob (marahil dahil na din sa sobrang istrikto ng aking guro), isang mukha lang ang kailangan kong makita at siguradong papayapa ang aking kalooban at yun ay ang aking ama. Nasungkit ko naman ang First Place marahil dahil sa takot na din sa aking guro na si Ms. Pena. Naputol ang isa nyang paa dahil sa sakit na diabetes. Kung kaya’t kinailangan nyang gumamit ng saklay. Pero hindi iyon naging hadlang para maging isang magaling na guro. At isang magaling na choreographer! Sa isang paligsahan ng sayaw nuong field day sa aming eskwelahan, nanalo kami ng First Place sa sayaw na itinuro sa amin ni Ms. Pena. Isa syang ubod ng sungit na guro at nuong mga panahon na yon nangyayari pa ang pananakit sa mga estudyante. Kadalasan sa kanyang pagtuturo sa amin ay nambabato sya ng eraser at nanghahampas ng saklay kapag kami ay mga kabisote at magugulo sa klase. Pero sa kabila ng lahat ng iyon labis kaming natuto sa lahat ng aralin, itinuro nya sa amin na magsikap mag aral at ikintal sa aming pag iisip ang halaga ng edukasyon sa isang tao. (at maging sa pagsulat ng maganda (good penmanship) sa aming mga kwaderno). Sila ang dalawa sa mga naging guro ko sa elementarya ang lubos na tumatak sa akin. Si Mrs. Resurrecion ang nagpamalas sa akin kung paano ang magmahal at mahalin ng pantay pantay sa kanyang paningin. Si Ms. Pena ipinakita nya na walang pwedeng maging hadlang sa lahat ng iyong mga pangarap at matapang dapat na harapin ang hilahil ng buhay. Lumipas pa ang maraming taon subalit dala dala ko ang mga aral na naiwan nina Mrs. Resurrecion at Ms. Pena. Mahirap man tanggapin na nakatapos ako ng kolehiyo subalit bago pa man sumapit ang araw ng pagtatapos namayapa ang aking pinakamamahal na ama. Hindi na nya ako nagawang samahan sa dulo ng aking pagkatuto. Subalit ang kanyang kakayahan na ilayo ako sa kamangmangan at itawid sa kaalaman ay patunay lamang na isa syang mapagpalang ama at ihemplo sa aking buhay. At ang aking naging mga guro ang syang tunay na pangalawa kong mga magulang na tumulong hubugin ang aking pagkatao.

Sa Piling ni Ninong

Sa banda duon, mga ilang hakbang mula sa aming bahay nakatira ang ninong ko, kapatid sya ng tatay ko. Kwentista sya sa komiks (aliwan, topstar, atbp) patnugot ng Golden Memories. Tawag sa kanya ng mga kapatid nya ‘Gorio’ at sa iba naman ay ‘Tito Greg’, sa mundo ng komiks ay ‘Greg Igna De Dios. Simple lang ang namulatan kong buhay ng Ninong ko, sa isang maliit na kubo lang sya nakatira sa gitna ng isang malaking lote, na napapalibutan ng iba’t-ibang punong kahoy,gulay, halaman at mga bulaklak. Sa likuran ng kanyang bahay ay may “man made” na palaisdaan at sa bandang gilid ng kanyang kubo ay may kamalig at sa kabilang gilid ay kakawayanan. Matandang binata ang ninong ko, istrikto. May kanipisan ang buhok nya, sarat ang ilong, bilog ang mukha, mataas (may hawig sya kay Mike Enriquez). Lagi lang syang naka sando, naka short at naka bakya.Natatandaan ko pa lagi naming ulam sa bahay nya ay ang isdang sap-sap, matunog na matunog ang paghigop nya sa sabaw ng sinampalukang sap-sap. Pagkatapos nun maglalakad-lakad sya sa tarangkahan ng kanyang kubo at kung may nagawing kapit bahay ay makikipag huntahan sya. Pagbalik nya sa Kubo derecho na sya sa kanyang makinilya at mag titipa na ng mga kwentong naisip nya sa paglalakad o pakikipag huntahan sa kapitbahay. Bawal ang maingay habang nagtitipa sya ng kwento at tanging lagislis lang ng kawayan at huni ng ibon ang madidinig. Pero para sa akin masarap sa aking pandinig ang lagatok ng kanyang makinilya dahil pagkatapos nun agad ko nang mababasa ang pagpapatuloy ng kuwento nya sa Komiks. Nung mga panahon na iyon napakasimple lang ng buhay. Ang bakuran ng ninong ko ang aming kanlungan. Naglalaro kami ng SYATO nila Mina, Mel, at Sonny.(sila ang mga kababata ko at laging kalaro sa bakuran ng ninong ko) SYATO ang tawag sa laro na may dalawang pirasong kahoy, na yung isa ay maiksi at yung isa ay mahaba. Yung mahaba ang pamalo at yung maiksi ang papaluin. Kapag napalo mo ng dalawa o higit pa yung mallit na kaputol ng kahoy matapos mong ihagis pataas at malayo ang napuntahang agwat nito mas malaki ang magiging puntos mo. Mahilig kaming maglaro ni Mel (Ismael Carlos) ng SYATO at maglaro ng teleponong Lata. Kumukuha sya ng dalawang lata ng Alaska na maliit, tinatanggal nya yung takip sa isang dulo at binubutasan nya ng pako yung kabilang dulo at lalagyan ng pisi na mahaba ang parehong lata at yun nag uusap kami sa magkabilang linya ng lata. Si Mina (Carmina Carlos) kalaro namin sya pag duktor duktoran ang gusto naming laro, mahilig syang manggamot . Gusto nya ang mga laro tulad ng bahay- bahayan, tinda- tindahanan, at minsan ginagaya namin ang napapanood namin sa telebisyon sa Batibot. Si Sonny(Lee Carlos) ang taga gawa ng mga bahay- bahayan namin gamit ang mga piraso ng kahoy malapit sa kakawayanan. Gumagawa din sya ng mga candy na gawa sa mga sanga ng bayabas, at taga gatong ng apoy sa laruang palayok. Masaya kami sa bakuran na iyon, nagagawa naming lahat ng imahinasyon na dala ng kabataan. Taguan, Piko, Tumbang Preso, Babaran, Pamimingwit ng isda, Panghuhuli ng butete, Palaka,Ibon, Paggawa ng laruan gamit ang putik, Pag akyat at paglambitin sa mga sanga ng puno, Mamitas ng bayabas, duhat, mangga, kaimito at marami pang iba. Para sa amin isang malaking palaruan at santuaryo ang bakuran ng ninong ko. Kinanlong ng bakuran na iyon ang aming kabataan, inilayo sa disgrasya at kapahamakan. Duon umusbong ang mga pangarap ng tatlong magkakapatid na hindi naging hadlang ang kanilang kahirapan para hindi ito makamit. Ngayon Si Mel ay isa ng Electronics and Communications Engineer at kasalukuyang nagtatrabaho sa Sony Ericsson sa Amerika, Si Mina ay isa ng Registered Nurse at nagtatrabaho na din sa Amerika bilang Nurse at may sarili ng pamilya, at Si Sonny ay isa ng Architect at may sarili ng Architectural Business . Ang kasimplehan ng pamumuhay ng ninong ko, ng kanyang bakuran ay naging instrumento ng isang makabuluhan at maayos na pamumuhay para sa aming lahat. Tunay na malaki ang naitutulong ng kapaligiran tungo sa mapayapa at matagumpay na pamumuhay. Sa mga kababata ko at kaibigang sila Mel, Mina at Sonny, isa kayong ehemplo ng pagsisikap at pagtatagumpay!

Itutuloy…

Some Things That I Missed.

Though bashful and very reserved (my closest friends would disagree, but this is so true!), I have been part of the training world since I met and worked with Ma’am Rory and ever dearest Ate Lai. I do not really know how I got myself entangled in this industry, but I believe God wanted me to overcome my shyness, thus, the nerve wracking, crowd-facing and life-touching profession.

I would like to believe that I am succeeding in this career (sometimes to my own disbelief). I always strive to be one of the best (ahem, kayabangan to the highest degree) employees in the companies I have joined (although I admit, I don't always enjoy being in center stage -- I always ask myself during the first day of class, "What am I doing here?! Why am I doing this to myself?!). I attribute this to the fact that I was with Winfield then and that I reported to the best trainer alive Ms. Rory Sugay and Lai Raymundo.

Being in this profession had exposed me to a lot of different industries. But I had been part longest of is the sales industry. I just moved to another industry late last year and it's a whole new world.

Lately, I've been missing Negros Navigation, my friends TERE, JO, CELTES and SHENG. I sooooo soooo wanted to join in the Informatics Training. I even haggled my way to a free ticket thanks to Ms D (so long as I bring my "paying" boss - as stated by Bambi. hehehe). Unfortunately, my work schedule won't permit. Haaaaay, somehow, I still feel that there is where I belong.

Anyway, here are some things I miss about the Call Center Industry, when I joined Sutherland Global:

1. Speaking in English. This is the world where speaking in English is the norm. It's where grammar and pronunciation matter. In the call center world, you're expected to be good in the language and to use it. It's not unusual for 2 people who meet in the street to greet and chat in English. In my industry now (Language Center), English is a second language (actually third -- after Tagalog). Sure we speak in English, but not as often, and not as meticulously. I cringe when I hear P and F defects and mispronounced words thrown everywhere. But hey, it's not like I should correct them and tell them to change the way they speak -- when it's not needed in our industry. (In time it really is needed very soon)

2. Snazzy office facilities and equipment. Call center office spaces are normally designed to be appealing to young people. Thus the artsy-fartsy and ultra modern office designs. I soo miss that. I like beautiful things. But hey, I have my own corner with a view of the nature (the common tao), so I can't complain. Hehehe.

3. Fun and Friendly Culture. Most call center companies try to create a friendly atmosphere for its young manpower. Thus they try to lessen the structure and the bureaucracy. Levels are there but people are free to speak with anyone about anything. Here, it's not as simple and easy to deal with new people. Not everyone's ready to be friendly.

4. Fast Internet Connection. Yes, mababaw as it may seem, I miss this. It's something I took for granted when I was part of the industry. Internet connection is expected. And it should be fast. Everyone has access to the internet (though maybe agents have limited access), still there's internet. It's considered a privilege to have access. I couldn't imagine how some of my colleagues work without it.

5. Two Rest Days. Haaaay, wala, ranting ranting lang on a Saturday morning Hehehe.

Salamat Lang

No reason. Gusto ko lang magpasalamat. Gusto ko lang sila i-honor.

Thanks to:

Adrian Santino (my son and my life)– thank you for making me happy to be alive! . Thank you for making me laugh. You are the best, funniest and corniest comedian I know! You are the reason I can’t sing sad songs with feelings. You are my life. I love you, my bunny. You make being a dad the best thing in the world! You make all the sore muscles from carrying you worth it. You make me want to run to you every time you wail and cry your “arte” cry. Although I know nagpapaawa ka lang. Thank you for making me happy-vulnerable. I can’t wait to see you grow up but at the same time I can’t get enough of you being my baby! You, Mama, and I will be the bestest of friends. Mwaaaah. I love you!

My Nanay – you’re not perfect, but that’s ok, I love you anyway. We fight, we argue, for a time we stopped talking to each other, but I know and you know that when one of us hollers for help, the others come running. I love you.


Ate Lai, Ma’am Rory and Ate Tes– no amount of words or praises will ever reflect just how indebted I am to all of you. You may not know just how much you helped me then and I never can elaborate enough. You were my anchors. Thank you! I swear, I am here for all of you for ANYTHING. Big thanks!!!

My Own Typhoon Experience

On Sept. 28, 2006, typhoon Milenyo hit the country (with Metro Manila as the center of its fury) and if we were to make a list of the hardest hit, you may just find my name in the list. The Milenyo trauma was what made me stay in the condo (my boss’ condo unit in Roxas Blvd.) the night before Saturday’s deluge and be vigilant. There was this sixth sense that told me I was safer there.

At around three in the morning the rain started to pour extra hard and soon water came dripping down from the ceiling of my comfort room. Not wanting to wake up the others, especially not my cranky help, I took care of the mess by taking out all the undergarments in the closet. I also got a decorative mug to catch the water dripping from the ceiling. To my surprise, water reached the brim of that clay piece in five minutes. The volume of water this typhoon brought with it was truly heavy. Before I went to bed, I replaced the mug with the biggest plastic container I could find (I have pails in that condo). I kept waking up every hour to discard the water it had collected and had to mop the floor. At around 8 a.m. I just passed out from exhaustion.

At 1 p.m. I woke up to the text of my friend Tere (she’s our nanay in Negros Navigation) telling me to leave the condo early if I didn’t want to get caught in that traffic jam caused by the flooding.

My priority was to get to our house in Bulacan, but anywhere I went there were roads that had water that was waist-deep. I didn’t panic because having worked in this city, I have been so used to floods. I had the driver with me that time (My boss told him to drop me off the nearest terminal going to Bulacan) and when faced with another waist-deep flood in a low section in Quiapo, I told him what I always do when faced with this situation: Go on full gear, step on the gas and without blinking just keep driving — fast! As soon as we’ve crossed over, I asked him to keep pumping the brakes to discharge whatever water had seeped into the vehicle. That had always worked for me, but I am not exactly saying it is a hundred percent foolproof.

When I got to Bulacan, I was surprised by the waist deep flood going to my house. Transport vehicles apparently had no way to get there. In fact, some vehicles was forced to go back. So I decided to let the floods go down til the wee hours of the morning, just to get at my house.

Good I wasn’t working in Manila when “Ondoy” hit on Sept 26, 2009. Luckily, I am able to find work near my family and not worry about things like these might get in my way.

I have to admit that when I am at the comfort of my office, I hadn’t realized yet the gravity of the situation — until I started to text my friend from Marikina that the floods were heavy and there were pleas for help, that were families close to getting drowned. I figured that if this was happening to middle class who live in concrete houses, then the people in the slums must have already been swept away by floodwaters by then. But as it turned out, it was the professionals who were suffering the most at that point — the middle class. They are the taxpayers who cannot even cheat on their income tax forms and have to declare everything. They are the ones who help prop up funds for the government in order to be able to deliver basic services to this country. Where are the funds? What happen to the infrastructure development that the government vehemently boast?
But they are also the people who need their comfort zone and they are the ones who lost their computers, TV sets, refs and, gulp, even their SUVs that most likely were purchased on installment.

I only know about great floods because my late grandmother told me the story and how people drowned by the hundreds. She also painted this picture in my head about how pigs and other animals floated on water — the flooding was that bad.

I swear this happened and now it has gotten me into believing even more that God truly has a divine purpose in everything He allows things to happen — yes, even last Saturday’s deluge. I don’t know what it is, but I just trust Him. God will reign! I thank God that my friends and their families(Tita My, Marlene, Ferie,Mench, Beng, Jopen and other friends) who suffered from this deluge are now safe and sound.

I know it’s difficult for us to accept this most recent tragedy, especially for those who lost loved ones, because as a Milenyo victim, I also experienced walking in the floods. It’s too long to explain, but I already found the answer. We must embrace our land with so much care and respect.

Fresh Source of Inspiration

Street Smart
Fresh source of inspiration
By Mandy Navasero
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 20:56:00 09/18/2009

Filed Under: Eleksyon 2010, Politics, Elections
“IF I were to be interviewed about Noynoy Aquino, this would be my story,” Hernani Geronimo said about the piece below when I photographed him. Nanie, a journalism graduate, is one of the 10 winners in the Gig Writing Contest on seafarers’ lives. Excerpts from his piece, “The Best Brand Today”:
“It is incredible that the best political brand now is again an Aquino. But, until last Wednesday, September 9, he was a reluctant candidate. Now, Ninoy and Cory’s only son is thrust into an unraveling political drama, in which people are hungry for a fresh source of inspiration and hope. Finally, he has announced his readiness to lead us to liberation.
“What does this mean to us? It means that we can trust a leader again. We can be sure he will not steal and taint the memory of his parents. We see sincerity and simplicity in vogue again. And, once again, we can hope.
Reasons
“These may be simple reasons, and certainly, they’re not solutions to our nation’s pressing problems. After all, Noy is no Superman. But, his decision to seek the presidency is enough reason to inspire us to once again give our best, do what’s right and decent, and be genuinely engaged in helping rebuild the country.
“Noynoy’s administration will no doubt restore our faith in the democratic institutions ruined by blind ambition, lust for power and ostentatious living. He will rule sincerely and love his constituents unconditionally.”

The basic English of Estrada?s reelection - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

The basic English of Estrada?s reelection - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

Shared via AddThis

Rising Sun Language Training Center

RISING SUN LANGUAGE TRAINING CENTER PROFILE

About Us

Rising Sun Language Center is an incorporation of talents and management expertise driven by a common passion for excellence, integrity, rediscovering the customer, teamwork and innovation.

Our mission is to help companies create the best value-driven workforce to be globally competitive revenue earner.

To fulfill this mission, we have experts in Communication, Legal & Labor Relations Training, Marketing, Medical Services and Information Technology.


Our Training Partners:

Oceanlink Institute – A subsidiary of Negros Navigation Holdings and Management Corporation. and

Winfield ESL Training Center


We also conduct regular ESL classes and accept individual or group enrollees.

Our methodology involves linking training with business objectives, assessing the needs of our clients, customizing our programs to accommodate specific needs, evaluating training outcomes and working closely with them with after-training concerns for and effective follow through.


Our Programs:


Modules arrayed below can be packaged or individually delivered, depending on customer’s requirements.

• Image Enhancement Program
• Personal Effectiveness Program
• Training the Trainers Program
• English Proficiency Program
• Oral Communication Skills
• Effective Presentation Skills
• Effective Business Writing Program
• Communication Assertiveness Series
• Corporate English Training
• Work Attitude and Values Enhancement Program
• Sales and Customer Service Program
• Management and Supervisory Training
• Rekindling the Team Spirit Training
• Problem Solving and Decision Making Skills Training
• Sales Training (Basic and Advanced)
• Teambuilding
• Strategic Planning
• Leadership Training
• Interpersonal Management (E.Q)
• Competency Modeling
• Filipino as Foreign Language Program
• Nihonggo (Japanese Language Program)

Workshops are highly interactive and challenging. Methodology is experiential (learning by doing). Each module is carefully designed to integrate participants’ learning need/s. All participants get an opportunity to practice the new learning while at the workshop.

To keep our customers, it is essential we cope with their fast-changing and growing needs. To do that, first we need to look at the way we work and identify areas we can improve and/or change in order to meet their requirements with utmost satisfaction.

If we do not take care of our customers, somebody else will.

Our Clients:

ALLIED TELESYN- Intensive English Program
BELLVUE HOTEL- Handling Employees Welfare
e-PLDT- Handling Employees Welfare
PARLANCE- Handling Employees Welfare
VOCATIV- Handling Employees Welfare
DIAMOND HOTEL- Re-Kindling Team Spirit


MUNICIPALITY OF CARMONA CAVITE
Building Effective Teams That Makes a Difference


YANSON GROUP OF COMPANIES
Work Attitude and Values Enhancement
And Teambuilding for:

Ceres Liner, Bachelor Express and Rural Transit

President and CEO Mr. Ricardo Yanson
YANSON GROUP OF COMPANIES

PAMANTASAN NG LUNGSOD NG MAYNILA
Image Enhancement Program
Jobseekers Program
Intensive ESL (English as a Second Language) Program

TEH HSIN ENTERPRISE PHILIPPINES, INC.
Effective Communication Skills Training
Problem Solving and Decision Making Skills Training

San Miguel Elem. School- Intensive ESL Program

AMG Skilled Hands Technological College
English Proficiency Program- Training the Trainers

YOU MAY ALSO CALL:
(044) 815.0975
SMS: 0920.896.8716
e-mail us @ risingsun_languagecenter@yahoo.com

EDITORIAL - A chance for the truth | The Philippine Star News Opinion

EDITORIAL - A chance for the truth | The Philippine Star News Opinion

Shared via AddThis

Please Less of Kris Aquino.

Sure, I will vote for Noynoy Aquino for his values and simplicity that isn’t wont be corrupted. I had this sudden change of heart when I read about Noynoy's sincerity and simplicity as a person. He has substance and dignity. Sya lang naman ang Presidentiables na reluctant to run for Public Office. And I know that he wouldn’t even try to ruin the image of his parents. I think he'll be a good and honest President. But please less of Kris Aquino’s yaketty-yak-yak about NoyNoy because she might ruin the endearment of Filipino people to her Kuya. The whole nation naman know how maarte and pakialamera itong kapatid nya. Lagi yatang gusto ng attention. That even the lovelife of her Kuya pinakikialam nya, she insisted that Noy stay single which I am prompting to ask: di kaya na offend dun sa sinabi nya yung future sister-in-law nya? She should stop talking about Noy’ personal life or how she would want to help her brother that she is willing to sell her house to make funds for Noy's campaign, it’s given, they really need to raise funds for the campaign period. That even the need to talk about Noynoy's make over from clothes to shoes to haircut and everything else kahit di naman pang showbiz ang kapatid nya, but she needs to talk about this on National Television. She can do all the help in whatever way possible for Noynoy’s campaign but please do it QUIETLY na lang. I am really hats off to actors like the MEGASTAR and the STAR FOR ALL SEASONS because they don’t make their household a big issue as if it is a gossip. I have such respect for people like them. They don’t need controversies to stay on top. Sometimes I would like to think na natatakot yung ibang tao (yung ibang Game KNB contestants dati) to sit with her for an interview because she noticed everything, where did you buy your clothes? What about your shoes? Doesn’t she know that she has her own lifestyle that other people cannot afford? We don't need to know that she wear high end designer clothes, how expensive her shoes, what she’s eating , what’s going on with their household etc., of course she can afford everything she wants because she is the "queen of all media".( I just don’t know where the title came from, because I don’t believe she is) Siempre isa yan sa highest paid celebrities sa kanilang istasyon.(Di ba sya naman ang laging bida at ang kanyang likuran sa mga TV shows nya everything about her is a BIG catch for the show, na ewan ko bakit ba naman ganun kababaw na they need to talk it over and over, madaming artista naman na pede pang pag usapan bukod sa kanya) But not to people who are intelligent enough kung ano ang kababawan lang at kung ano ang may sense at class. I would like to think that she is the exact opposite of her sisters, theirs is quiet and serene(and very seldom to see in public, Si Pinky nito ko nga lang nakita, the passing of her beloved mom). Wasn't it easy for her to shut up and be quiet about all these stuff? Napakayaman nya para mawalan ng class. Stop talking about family issues in public, make it private. It doesn't mean that if you're a public figure you owe it to the public to bare it all. There are limitations. Yes she has a lot of fans that might bring votes to Noynoy. But there are also a lot of people who don't like Kris' nauseatingly kaartehan and her values. I think mas madaming boboto kay Noynoy if less of Kris. Si Noynoy na lang and her other sisters ang magsalita.Let Noynoy speak for himself, let them talk kasi they're more credible(and also Rapa Lopa, Tita Cory’s nephew) kasi nde sila mahilig pangunahan ang kapatid nilang si Noynoy. May intelligence na may class pa. Mas quiet si Kris mas win-able si Noynoy.

The Future of Human Enhancement

The Future of Human Enhancement

Big changes start with small steps | Exchange | Ode Magazine

Big changes start with small steps | Exchange | Ode Magazine

Shared via AddThis

EDITORIAL - Neanderthal | The Philippine Star News Opinion

EDITORIAL - Neanderthal | The Philippine Star News Opinion

Shared via AddThis

Is Homeownership Good for the Kids? Not Necessarily

Is Homeownership Good for the Kids? Not Necessarily

A Very Special Blog for my Son...

When I first became a father 11 years ago, the reality of it didn’t hit me until several days after the birth. Like most fathers, for me, the run-up and aftermath of my little Ian’s being born was so fraught with the usual tensions and a million operational details that I didn’t really have time to take it all in. It was only when we’d come home that I realized how much had changed.


Like all new parents, suddenly even our sleep was not our own; for six or seven weeks, I was going through the working day looking punch-drunk- until at last my son’s sleep cycle settled down. But more than that, I was unprepared to be absolutely responsible for someone so vulnerable. It was a daunting prospect.

My transition to fatherhood was nothing like my transition from being single to being unmarried- which has been traumatic for my mom- but for me, it was simple. My girlfriend and I had been together for five years and life with her is something I want to forget all my life. I felt betrayed, scorned at the same time. I knew she has her own plans.

But becoming a father is something I never counted on, nor ever dreamt about. I had female friends who had the names of their entire kids ready a decade before they got married. Not me. I thought about fatherhood the way that adolescents think about death-in other words, they’d rather not, and if they do, it’s always in terms of something that was going to happen to somebody else.

And then all of a sudden there he was- Adrian Santino de Dios, a bawling infant who sometimes took an hour or two crying before going to sleep at night. After a year of living in an apartment with just the two of us and a nanny, my life were not my own. That took a little adjusting too.

But little by little, the worries eased. I’ve got better and better at taking care of the little tyke, and I took a bit of pride that I could put my son to sleep better than his nanny (those were the days where I can afford to have a nanny, he he he). But more than that, somehow a switch went on in my head, and what had been a responsibility became a joy. What I realized was this: you don’t love your children; you fall in love with them. That was exactly what happened to me.

Adrian changed my entire life. Not only did I become a good dad. I became a good son to my own mom. Before I had him, I was self centered, I left home, stayed in an apartment, and only worried about me. My dad was long gone then. I saw my mom on a few weekends, and those were few and far between.

I was out of work when I had Adrian, but I wasn’t worried. As soon as I got back on my feet, I begin to land my own business, it’s not my usual cup of tea, though, as I used to work as an event organizer where I was almost always up for more than 20 hours a day. Still, I was able to provide Adrian with the things he needed as he grew up. We are happy.

I still remember, I cried softly when I had to confine him in the hospital because of Dengue. I saw the nurses put an I.V needle through his little arm. Whenever the doctors or nurses came into his hospital room, he would cry. He was afraid they would hurt him. To assure him, I whispered in his ear. “Daddy’s here, I won’t let them hurt you.” It was enough to make him stop crying and sleep peacefully in my arms.

I prayed to God to make Adrian well and to give me more strength and courage. Thankfully, Adrian was declared out of danger. I vowed to do everything to make him healthy.

It was difficult for me when he started to ask about his mother. He was just four years old and in nursery school. “Dad, why is that my schoolmates have moms and I don’t? he asked when I came home from work one night. I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t think the question would come this early.

With careful consideration of his tender age, I explained that his mom could not be with us because she has her own plans maybe to find a work and start a new life where she is right now. Maybe one day soon, I told Adrian, he would meet his mother. I was surprised by his mature analysis of the situation. “No, Dad,” he said, “I think things are the way they are because that is how God wants it to be. All I know is that you love me and I love you!” I cried and hugged him. I told him I loved him so much that whatever happens, I will always be there for him.

A proud father, I would note how my son would make funny remarks at the age of two or grasps difficult concepts at the age of four. And more and more I saw him as a gift of GOD gave to me. I could feel the joy of responsibility for the first time in my life.

I read from a novel and I do believe that “A child is a guest in the house, to be loved and respected-never possessed, because he belongs to GOD. How wonderful, sane, and therefore true.

“Strangely difficult” is exactly how I feel about fatherhood, because it will never be easy.

I believe that if a child is nurtured well he or she will grow up to become a responsible citizen.

But even during moments like that, I would not give up a moment of fatherhood. As I wrote to an old friend a few weeks ago: “Even on my worst day, my son Adrian Santino are to me miracle and grace.” I love You, My One and Only Ian.

You Can Change The World.

Folks, I want to ask you a question:

do you think everything in your life is perfect just as it is?
Or are there some changes you would make if you had the chance?

If the answer is “yes”…
then you have everything you need to be an activist

Let me explain.

A lot of people choose to sail steadily through life on an even keel.
But there are some people who are boat rockers.
They go through life making a fuss when the going gets tough.
Go against the flow.

Who Am I You Ask? Let Me Introduce Myself.

Jit, (as they call me) thanks for tagging me. It took a while for me to get started coz I don't really know what to say. But hey, here it goes.

I am my own contradiction. I am one thing and another, all at the same time. Here's the best I came up with to tell the world who I am.

Passionate but Apathetic

Passionate. There are several things I am very passionate about: my mom, my son, my God. I love them with a purple passion and a cherry on top! I choose to devote myself to them. They make me incredibly happy. I make them happy (well, I'm not sure if God's happy with me, hehehe. Working on it, Lord!). If only weekends were longer and work hours shorter!

Apathetic. I'm passionate about important things, couldn't care less about other things. There are just some things that I wouldn't spend time on because I consider it a waste of my life and time. Some of which are opinions of insignificant people- oil price hike, rising cost of living, etc. Sure, I may whine and complain about them, but they don't really affect my overall happiness. I know when to categorize them as life-changing, and when to call them petty.

Loyal but Willing to Let Go

Loyal as a dog. I have a lot of acquaintances and I'm nice to everyone but I count only a handful as really close friends. I do not aim to be the most popular or to be the most liked, I always aim to just be myself when I'm with other people. When my acquaintances turn out to be diamonds in the rough, I give myself to the friendship to make it shine. And when I call you a friend, I am one for life. It doesn't matter if I don't see them often, if I don't communicate with them often, if I consider them my friends, I am there for them for whatever reason. WHATEVER reason. I am loyal in that way. I have CONVICTION!!!

Willing to let go. Although I value my friendships, I can also let go and turn away when needed. There was a time in my life when I turned away from a very close friend. I chose to shut her out of my life and call her a stranger. It was a painful day when I decided we will never be the kind of friends anymore but I was loyal as a friend to her and expected the same from her. She did not rise to the challenge. I give only the best of myself to my friends and demanding as it may sound, if they can't do the same, then I can let them go.

Mature but Childish

Mature. I project myself maturely. I don't sound young, I don't sound like a crazy teeny bopper (thank God!). I'm not so into cutesy-cutesy things. I don't really like blue. I'm more comfortable in blacks and earth colors. I look credible and believable when I speak. I'd like to think it's not only the outer me that shouts maturity. I'd also like to believe I am mature in thinking. Malawak ang pag-uunawa ko. I do not judge quickly. I am open-minded. I am forgiving of people's imperfections (including my own). I listen. I give solid gold advice (or so I was told).

Childish. Sometimes, I forget that I'm in my late 30’s. I can be childish. I whine and sulk when I don't get my way. I so understand kids when they throw tantrums - nakakarelate ako. Maybe that's why kids like me, they know I get them. Hehehe. I can be nauseatingly makulit. I can pester and annoy til I get what I want. At times, I don't realize I'm being irritating coz it's so second nature for me to be makulit. Diba, Enrico?!

Serious and Playful

Serious. I am serious with my life. I want to make it mean something. I do not have a specific goal I want to reach, because I believe that each day should have merit. I am serious about my work, I am out to prove my worth. I want to make sure whatever company I am with, they know that I am worth (or even worth more) the money they compensate me with. Excellence is my battle cry. I do not like being told I was good. I want to be told I was excellent. And so I work hard. Same is true with my family. I aim to be the best dad and son. I want my family to feel lucky that I am theirs. ;)

Playful. But sometimes, I don't take myself or my life too seriously. I know how to relax and enjoy. I know when to say, "it doesn't matter" and "so what?!" when things don't turn out the way I want them to. When I get stressed, I play. That's why I LOVE yahoo. I can surf for hours. Yahoo take me to another world (boring world according to Enrico and Khay :) I try not to stress myself out too much, lest I get hyperventilated (for those who don't know, I have hyperventilation -- medical condition when breath just falls off -- for me, when I'm stressed).

Random things about me:

1. I like cats and dogs. Some are cat-people, some are dog-people, I am both.


2. I have "shopping" moods. I can go for months without buying any new piece of clothing or pair of shoes, but when there are good finds, I BUY. :D

3. My favorite "sale" places are Girbaud, F & H, Bass and Lacoste. Coz when they go on sale, normally, what's left are MY sizes. And sale talaga, as in 40 - 70% off!

4. I am a Sonya's addict. Sometimes, I crave the food. I hate it that they're in Tagaytay and that we need to drive so far to enjoy the place and the salad (and the pasta and the breads and spreads, and Ian's favorite - candied kamote). Thanks to Enrico! For driving!!

5. I LOVE buffets! Any kind! Breakfast buffet, lunch buffet, merienda buffet!! I've tried a lot, cheap, expensive, mid-priced. My favorites are: Sonya's Garden in Tagaytay, Thai Kitchen in Galleria, Dad's in Megamall, Saisaki in Megamall, Josephine's in Tagaytay. Sa hotels, the best breakfast I've tried so far is Manila Peninsula followed by InterContinental Manila. Lunch naman 7 Corners (especially for dessert) in Crowne Plaza. Ay basta, ask me about buffet, I will answer with so much gusto! I just love it! Hehehe.

6. I am right-handed. Again, as I've mentioned before. Right-handed people are SUPPOSEDLY good painter. Not me. Hehehe.

7. I am shy. As in mahiyain. Yes, it's true. I don't really know how I’m into training. It puzzles me to this day. ;)


8. I am low-tech. Hahaha. Ask me about computers, I know nothing! Talk to me about techie stuff and I space out. I leave those things to the experts. I just know how to use the PC for the common stuff - Office, games, Multiply, friendster, other specifications :D

9. I don't like strawberries and ampalaya. I am not picky when it comes to food, I can eat anything EXCEPT those two. Anything strawberry DOES NOT appeal to me. I think it's because all the medicine I was made to take as a kid was strawberry flavored. Hehehe. Ampalaya naman coz it's bitter (obviously, kaya nga bitter gourd ang pangalan eh. hehehe). I like sweet and spicy stuff, not bitter.

Whew! That's a lot of stuff about me. Maybe more than what you'd like to know. Hehehe. Now that you know a bit more about me, I want to get to know you better too!

This is Kalebra

We left at a friends’ wedding half past 7PM, He used to drive his car even if he’s dizzy but not this time. Win and I had been on the road for about fifteen minutes, flabbergasted that I had to drive faster (as fast as I can) than usual. Win felt a strange tingling in his arm, flexing his fingers. Then, suddenly, he felt as if he couldn’t get a deep breath. He opened his jacket and even opened the car window to get some air. The air didn’t help. He felt a hot wave of dizziness and then a piercing pain in his head, like something popping inside. The sight in one eye went black. He blinked but couldn’t bring it back. I hit the emergency warning flashers and struggled to slow down the car and steer it over to the shoulder of the road, straight ahead to the hospital.

When I reached the hospital, we went straight to the emergency room. I knew every wing of the hospital from many times I had gone there. I walked up to the nursing station just outside the emergency area to get some more help. Suddenly I found myself behind the curtained area. I took a deep breath, trying hard to control the emotions welling up inside me. It was frightening for a while. (pakiramdam ko nakalutang ako sa hangin sa sobrang takot). I’ve waited for several hours when I was brought together with the attending physician to where Win is confined. They quickly explained Win’s condition. He had a stroke. The doctors said he’s lucky enough. He must have felt the stroke coming on and was able to tell me what’s going on with him.

The elevator doors slid open, I went straight to where I am heading. Win was lying in a hospital bed, attached to an array of frightening-looking tubes and machines. (nag flashback sa akin yung mga times na nasa ospital ang tatay ko) I walked toward him, feeling as if I were in a dream. His face looked strangely peaceful. I sighed and took his hand and leaned over. ”You have to fight now, this is the fight of your life, we’re all waiting for you” I whispered. A silent cry to heaven rose up within me. I felt as if the room were spinning in circles. I couldn’t think, couldn’t see straight. I wasn’t sure if I sat there for minutes or hours. When I picked my head up, my neck felt stiff. I came to my feet trying to orient myself. He’s father must be told how serious the situation has become.

This was going to be hard, seeing a dear friend suffered so much. I felt immensely sad. Do you know what the worst thing in the world is? It’s to not be wanted. That’s what I’ve felt like most of my life. I’ve dedicated all my time and life to friends I thought was real. With everything that’s gone wrong with my life, that’s exactly what it feels like. But Win changed that thought. He gave in to the friendship much of what I have expected. For him, it doesn’t matter how short or long the friendship is, as long as it’s true. I began to fantasize about how much better my life could have been if I met him early on in my life. He’s very creative in helping others find solution to problems. Win struck most people as distant, a loner type. But there was a side of him that was keenly aware of people in need and the ways he could help them. He was just quiet about it.

Finally, at nearly 2 A.M., the doctor reported that Win’s condition had stabilized. Though he was still in danger, he encouraged us to go home and get some rest. I am too exhausted to speak. I wish there was something I could do. I reached the path to the front door, feeling frozen to the bone, felt heavy and numb. I realized that each day is a precious, sacred gift, my friends. We walk this earth for a blink of an eye. Some friends will treat you nice and make you feel important according to your bank account, the car you’re driving etc. When you’re down and out you’re nothing, not realizing how we might be hurting others, not realizing that the golden tomorrow when we planned to say ‘I love you’ and ‘I am sorry’ may never come…

Thanks Win for this wonderful friendship you’ve shared. With you I feel important, I feel wanted and loved. I’ll pray for your fast recovery.

I also pray for good health for my sisters Ferie and Mench, for I can’t live without their friendships. I love them both with all my heart.